………………

June 26, 2005

Just when I thought that I have gotten over it and trying very hard to climb out of it, I slipped and fell to the bottom.

I have been escaping all these while, thinking that if I don’t think of it, everything will be fine. But I was wrong. It just keeps accumulating inside and when I can no longer run away, all these unwanted feelings came flooding into me. And I brokedown last night. Sms Concon and she told me to move on…

It takes time… But how long exactly will it take before I can forget about it and carry on with my life? It’s very hard to let go off something I have been holding on for sometime. And all those happy memories that flashes through my mind when that song is played.

It takes time to heal and to forget…… I’ll just let the feelings fade as time goes by..

……..

*soooob*

Wait. Wait. Wait.

How long am I going to wait.. wait for something that will never happen.

Why am I giving myself hopes?

I miss u…

comeee comeee

June 25, 2005

Listening to : In The Moonlight [Gravitation]

wooot~ Went out with Nat. and Pipi yesterday after school. hehe. I was kind of late because I had to stay back to get my lab assignment graded and hand in my bursary appicaiton form.

Long timee never see them liao. Not much changes though, except for Pi’s hair~ It’s getting longer. I suggested to go Bugis to look for job + shoopppinngg!!! XD yuupp. hehe. Finally bought my converse shoes! Yellow and Orange. Striking ne! Then stopped by PureMilk and bought a shirt. hehe. I am now a PureMilk fan!

Then, they went down to Douby Ghaut with me to meet Marilyn. She introduced me to a coffee house somewhere there. BUT none of us knew the way so we just walked blindly.. ^^” Forced Asked Pi to call the boss, Mr Raj, for the location. After calling him and asked for directions, we still couldn’t find the way. So in the end, he told us to wait at the bus stop while he went to pick us up. XD

The coffee house is somewhere further down Sunshine Plaza. Looks a little rundown but he told us that he will touchup a lil when he takes over the cofee house. Hmm.. the coffee house is quite ok, except that there is no aircon and it’s near the road. Everytime the cars past by, VVRRRroooomm.

The 5 of us sat at a corner and began the interview. It’s not really an interview, more of a question-and-answer session. ^^” He told us everything we need to know about the place and stuff. $5/hr. Standard price. He’s a very very friendly guy + a very understanding boss. Yuupp~ He told us that he will arrange the shedule according to our available working time. =D He even told us to bring along more friends. hmm.. Can see that he’s desperate for more workers.

So I have been asking around if they wanna work there.
Reason?
1) The more, the merrier! It’s hard to find a company that allows you to bring along more friends for interview.
2)I am still considering whether to work there. The location and the environment may not be the best.
3) Continuation of 2. So, if I can get more friends to work there, I won’t feel so lonely~ I need company. ^^”

Haiz… Don’t know whether I should go… O.o… I think the answer will depend on my friends. They go, I go. =D hehe

Thanks Nat and Pi for accompanying mee the whole day~ Miss you guys! JIA YOU for your common test!

Thanks Marilyn for keeping me updated when she knows that I am looking for a job

Anyone else interested in the above job, tell meee!! =D

shareeeee~

June 23, 2005

Listening to : Caged Bird [D.N.Angel]

Caged Bird

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Caged Bird

Lyrics, Composition, Arrangement, Performance, Vocals: Miyamoto Shunichi

How high would I have to fly
To lose sight of you, so far away?

If I turn my eyes away, I might feel better.
But I want to always be looking at you from somewhere.

Because there’s no way I could forget you.
At my wits’ end, I simply keep staring up at the sky.
It’s almost as if I were like a small bird inside a cage,
Searching for the window, aimlessly wandering around.

I want to see you right away, because I love you,
Even though I want to run away because I’m scared of being hurt.
If this unseen barrier around me should tear away my wings,
Still, you are so precious to me that it makes me sad.

———————————————————————————
Sad song ne~ *soooob* I hope that you will be reading this..

Sweet layout~

June 21, 2005

wooot~ Yupp! New layout! Nice nice?? I looveee this image a lot so I’ve decided to make it into my bloggie layout~ This layout also reflects my feelings on some things recently. I came out with the words in the layout myself.. It’s rather depressing and poor english.. ^^”

Anyway, gotta go sleeep. I have 2 tests tomorrow. bleehh.. And i-Hub recruitment tomorrow. Shall go and take a look. =D

*rotting away*

June 20, 2005

I am slacking. There are homework and tests waiting for mee but I have been online all night, wasting my time. -______-” I’m sooo bored.. I don’t wanna study lee.. I want to go shopping. I wanna work. I wanna ENJOY!

*soooob*

(*&%$&^#

June 19, 2005

I’m feeling so DOTTY now! GGRRRR……. why must my dad be so “over-protective”? I hate following what he told mee to do. I have my own thoughts and feelings. I can make my own choices!

Eg. My cousin and his wife are here in S’pore for 3 days. Therefore, they met up for dinner yesterday. I was still with my classmates in FarEast when it was dinnertime and I didn’t feel like going. So, I decided to be nicee and call my dad to tell him that I wasn’t going. But in the phone, he kept saying I MUST go.. I have my reasons for not going.. Why force me? Then, I got into a very bad mood. After a while, my mum called and told mee that my dad called her to tell me to go. -_____- I told my mum that I didn’t feel like going and she understood. *huggies* Yup. So she called my dad to tell him I had something on with my friends so I couldn’t go.

Just now, I had to go for buffet dinner with them. My dad didn’t ask me if I wanna go. He just counted me in. It was my mum who called to tell me about it. And when you have paid for the buffet, it would be a waste not to eat.. So I ate. And I feel so guilty and angry now. I put in so much effort to slim down and now a buffet has made me fat again! ARGH!!! I can really see my tummy big and round and I HATE it!

Tomorrow they are going to chinese restaurant for lunch. Which mean dimsum. and dimsum=fat + unhealthy. I SHALL not go. I don’t wanna be force or controlled any more. And I don’t wanna be in a bad mood because of a fat tummy. I WANNA BE HAPPY! and slim too.

BBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA BITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*tears out hair*

June 15, 2005

Heeelllpppp meeee!! I feel stresssssssed!! I keep thinking of the homework, projects and test, and I just wanna fly to another galaxy and stay there forever.

1. Engineering Maths Quiz 1
2. TCS – Website description. We have to describe a webpage. 7-8 pages. -_-
3. IFCProj – I have to write out a list of questions for the interview of the company.

Though it may not seem a lot, they are enough to refrain mee from going to my lalaland~ tonight. Who knows? I may turn bald tomorrow morning!

*I pray for weekend to come quickly. I hope that the manager will call. I wish to score well for my tests. I want HIM. to really be happy*

*stoning*

June 12, 2005

Listening to : Boundless Love [To Destination]

bleeehh… Stuck at home all day to do homework. I’m feeling a little better today. Thanks for everyone’s concern. Sorry for making you guys worry.

After 3 weeks of school, the only 2 subjects that I can’t manage are Engineering Maths and Engineering Fundamentals. BOTH are maths subject. Darn! Why do I still need to take maths in Poly? I hate maths!!

So.. I spent the whole afternoon stuggling with both subjects. Luckily I remembered how to do. *phew*

Went out with Eunicee and Xinyi the other day. They are such good friends. And it brightened up my day too~ We walked around Bugis and took neoprints. FUN~ And the piccies were nice! I didn’t buy anything yesterday.. aww. I wanted to buy another demin skirt. I saw one that I looovveee in Century Square, but I don’t like the attitude of the sales girl, so I don’t wanna buy from the shop. BLEH.

yupyup. We had dinner at V8 Movie Cafe. It was the first time. Nice ambience.. =D After dinner, continued walking, walking. Actually I feel quite bad.. because Xinyi kept asking why I didn’t talk. hmm.. SORRY! *hides in a corner* I need to be very very close to someone before I can open up and talk crap. (eg. my lamer gang; Nat, Abooo, Pipi and Banana)

Then we went over to RafflesCity. lalala~ and had early “supper” at one of the Ah-Kun-like cafe. Took piccies with Eunicee phone and laughed a lot~ =D *huggies* Thank you for making my day an enjoyable one~

But… tomorrow will be Monday. Monday = school + drag + monday blues + back to =( again. And my dad is returning to Singapore tomorrow… HAIZZ… I shall not re-describe my feeling. It can be found at one of my entries sometime ago when my dad was also returning from China. HERE

I have been dreaming of someone for 2 nights.. O.o.. hmm.. *blush*

Piccies

These were taken on 5 June when we went FarEast. The machine nono.. *shakes head* (Eunicee, Xinyi, Jam, James, JunYong and mee)

These were taken when we went Bugis. The machine goodgood! (Eunicee, Xinyi and mee)

         
Our favourite neoprint. =D We look like models ne~ XD

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

June 9, 2005

If I say that I suffering from depression, will anyone ever believe me? I doubt so. Hmm.. maybe not depression, just feel so unhappy about the things that have been happening around me.

I feel that going school is a dragg … And today, I received multiple “da ji” that made me sooo angry and pissed off with myself. ARGH!!!!!!! I keep trying to psycho myself not to think of it anymore but it’s impossible. Maybe I should focus on studies and continue waiting… Wait, wait, wait… Wonder how loooong will this waiting goes on. I’m so tired mentally…